Does porn up men’s game?

Internet influence is an act that both males and females undergoes through. A few weeks ago, a classmate of mine came to me asking why guys like watching porn. I didn’t think about it that much at that particular pointing in time until yesterday. I deeply thought about it and how it influences guys perception on females.
I took it upon myself to WhatsApp random guys contact in my contact list and you won’t believe this but it’s true, that most guys watch porn to up their sex game. For a long time I took this as a non issue in our society until last week, when I bumped into a porn clip from one of my classmate’s laptop.
I asked him out just to get his view on this.

You know what Collins, every guy atleast once must watch these clips to learn. It makes you better in bed. Imagine making your girl behave like the pornstar girl-all that moaning, screaming.

“Really? Has it affected how you perceive girls? “I asked.
“Well, I have to confess this, I don’t pretty much give women that much value, I believe in a one night stand thing. Get her super, watch a movie and have your ticket between her legs. And most of the time, all I see is that well rounded ass, and how am longing to grab it. I know it’s a bad thing, but really it’s also fun and entertaining. ” He elaborated.
Then I went to a few girls to get their opinions on this.
“It’s embarrassing really how guys view us in this modern era, we girls also want to be a part of society, we don’t dress as an invitation but to embrace our true identity. And shame on those guys who view us as sexual toys.” Grace, Bcom student.
“Do you girls also watch porn? ” I asked.

Out of curiosity, its a normal thing for every human, but just once or twice for girls unlike guys who get addicted to it.she replied.

“How does porn addiction from guys influence how they view you.. And first have you ever been a victim from them”

“Yes, I have been, I remember one day walking across school and this guy friend of mine slaps(spanks) me from behind. I felt helpless. I didn’t wanna react because of the embarrassment that would cause me and I have so many friends who feel uncomfortable on how guys perceive them. I think porn makes them demean women and the fact that addiction plays so much in their mind, most of time they lose focus of serious activities in their daily lives.”

It’s a proven fact that frequent Exposure to dirty clips ruins your mind on how you view people from the opposite sex. Most of the time sex will be the only thing running In your mind. Have witnessed this first hand, its a path you don’t want to tread on for the sake of yourself, our girls and our entire society. Internet indeed is a good thing, but let’s stop consuming its vices. Let’s make it a tool to develop ourselves for the best. It’s a hard thing to turn our back against, that’s why we are asking for help from our female colleagues, because together we can achieve equity.

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5 productive female habits that guys should learn 🎓

Ever wondered why most females lead lives beyond their means? Well, most of you will attach that to the existence of sponsors (older money donors for the selfish motive of misusing girls) but well that’s just like 20% of the girls. What about the other 80%? Well;here are the secrets the other 80% of the girls do that I recommend every guy should practice.
1.Read Books.
Most ladies spend a huge junk of time reading self help books and romantic novels. For a long time I thought it was unproductive until I started small talks along these two genres of book and believe me these books play a very vital role in most girls lives. For guys I’d recommend classics and a bit of self help books. Start with one book monthly, it helps.
2.Personal care.
Well, most of them overdo it, but its a good thing that I think we guys should adopt. Daily showering is a must for every guy. Healthy eating is also a must in our daily to do list. Being clean doesn’t mean you are girly, it means you value your life so much. Why would you spend kshs. 1000 on a dinner with a girl while not spend the same amount on dinner for yourself. Ask any girl, they’ll never do such a damn thing unless they’re crazily in love with you.
3.Self worth.
Girls really value themselves so highly. Did you know a girl may have a crush on you and will never ever open up? Did you know that a girl could be poor and will never allow that get past her hostel or apartment door? These are good things, they reveal how psychology stable a person is. They foster an understanding that no matter how bad a situation is, my value is way higher than the Situation itself. As guys, let’s embrace the same mentality without forgetting our masculine role.
4.Art of faking.
I’ll be honest, ladies can fake anything up. They know how to use their feminine appeal to get anything they want. They use it in manipulation and even deception. They have mastered how to fake external love. They employ this in confusing guys into doing basically anything they want. Is it bad? Yes, but who cares. Why don’t you as a guy employ the same.
5.Healthy relationship.
Have never met people who are really good in creating friendships like ladies. Their friendship bond is so strong to an extent they share the darkest of secrets with each other. This makes them vulnerable as they’re very easy to understand if you can be an assert to their best friend. It’s also good on their down moments because atleast they have a shoulder to lean on. They are very good in peer mentoring. For guys, it’s very rare but it’s an opportunity for us too to start working on our friends. We have allies as I call them but not genuine friends. We don’t peer mentor unless it’s at church when we are forced into small mentorship groups.

We Both Have Feminine and Masculine Energy.

I was raised up with a believe that man should always be tough. A man was not suppose to show any kind of weakness. A man was suppose to enjoy the pain. In my teenage years, the role shifted from my community to the media. The media taught me a lot of the expectation of both male and female more or less the same as those I learnt in my early childhood years. Am now 21 and I wonder what is wrong with this world.

I have friends who find it difficult to express their feelings to ladies. Out of the 10 girls I studied with in primary school only one have been able to trace and is in the same level of studies as I am though a year behind;all the rest are either pregnant or married. Is the fault theirs? No. It is their upbringing. They got raised up with a particular set of believes most of which you have to really work to overcome.

The facts still stand in campus. We have few ladies who prefer technical courses. Ladies are not willing to handle the technical stuff. Like in my faculty, most want to be anchors(Television presenters ). Even in our job market, from America the most powerful nation to Kenya,seldom will you find brave women to contest political offices. There are countable female directors in the whole world and less than 7 female presidents out of over 190 countries. We’ve never had a female president in our 7 key universities.

It’s not only girls but guys also have their own struggle. Did you know many guys die out of stress because they don’t have anyone to open upto. Unlike ladies who easily open up to one another, guys will rarely do that. Guys we raised up believing that they’re tough. It isn’t true. There is no weakness in being able to express yourself.

Ever asked yourself why the question of true love existence has been a question of contemplation for over a half a century now? Yes, simple. Because a lot of people are not able to face true love, it’s scary. It requires a massive amount of energy. That’s why people settle in arrangements and a lot of hit and run instances in campus. There’s a famous quote nowadays trending that “looking for a virgin in campus is like looking for a piece of needle in a hay sac” its not entirely possible but it requires the patience of an angel.

Is this something we can’t change? No. Both male and female have to get an understanding that we both have masculine and feminine energy within us. What does that mean? It means don’t be scared of what the other gender can do. If a male can be a president, then a female can equally be one. If a lady can own an iconic beauty parlor then a guy can as well own the same.

Achieving this is only possible if we men are taught to be emotional and empathetic. If we learn that not all the times we should control which will afford women an opportunity to try some of the things we do. Women won’t have to submit to us if we don’t have to control. Men will also be open to expressing themselves if women understand that it’s right for men to feel. I know it’s mandatory for women to submit in the bible. I surely am that God did not mean being a slave to satisfying male desires.

Are you willing to travel the road less travelled? Are you willing to move forward even if you feels alone?

As Emma Watson puts it,“There would have been no generation without men and women.” let’s work hand in hand toward empowering each other. Don’t wait for a union or an activist but take the lead among your family and friends.

Dating is a game of slavery

My friends and I late last year started dating. We started at basically the same time. The eldest of us was the last to date and the youngest was kind of the first to have a girlfriend. I have not only been keen of our trio friendship but also of how it has changed since we got girlfriends. Before we used to hangout out a lot, text alot and spend alot of time together. We could exchange advices on how to build a grand Mega reality. We talked of buying fancy cars and not to mention of trio wedding 8 years from now. How we will be renting neighborhood apartments and move to suburb at 45 to settle with our families and parents. Actually we had swore that the most a person could have was three kids.It felt fulfilling and good till a new reality unfolded.

Well I was the youngest and A was the eldest of us all but let me not forget M who kind of started dating because of the pressure from us.A to a reasonable extent have managed to balance her relationship life with our friendship life. Despite having a girlfriend he can once in a week give me a call just to remind me of the beautiful ideas we used to discuss before we started this wonderful world of dating and infact he insists of a physical meet now and again.
“Having a girlfriend is a blessing to me.” He asserts.”She not only brings out the part of me that I never realized before but also makes me feel more like the luckiest man on earth” A continues. And deep inside I say to myself that I’d kill to have a girl like that. Not at one point as she ever cheated on him and the most interesting part was that this girl was still a virgin at 20…yeah true story.I know that caught you with a lot of surprise but trust me there are still lots of beautiful girls out there both inside and out. They talk about their specific day of key events on their relationship like when they’ll get married, where they’ll spend their honeymoon and one of the craziest was the first time they’ll have sex.
What? Iasked A. “You mean all this time you haven’t like tried it out? ” and he’ll go like bro easy …that doesn’t make someone less of a man between it makes you an extra ordinary man. I’ll go like you’re right bro but deep within am battling my feeling on how damn this guy is until he adds something. ” Well..I know it’s a lot of stuff to take in but if only you understand how powerful this act is,then you’ll for sure be willing to make it ceremonious..for me..it’s on that day she’ll say I do.” Jeeez!!that perfectly sank in.
To my other friend, M,who cuts in between the two of us. He was very ambitious right from day one in campus till last semester,the conclusion of our third year. He nowadays objects every positive suggestion from us and he kind of has kept his distance. He’s the perfect defination of dating being a slavery. He forgot about his old friends. His life is always his girlfriend. Well, there’s is nothing bad in being with your girlfriend 100% of the time but it kind of makes you a slave to her. A real guy has to have other useful activities going on in his life. He should provide a sense of direction to the girl not the other way round. The moment you start forgetting about everything in your life and your make your life about your partner that’s the very moment the rain is beating you as my favourite lecture Mr.Maina puts it.
I don’t feel my friend, M, is the only one but many of us. Well unlike A I don’t know what goes on in M’s life since he started dating. He barely spend time with us even a simple text from him is like waiting for rain in Sahara desert. What he forgets is the desperation you can never hide when one looks at you straight in the eye. I have this feeling that M is working very hard to be a perfect guy but he’s totally lost truck. His pocket money Is always split into two.
His girlfriend is a master of playing needy. Why sacrifice your beautifully given life for the sake of a stranger who to be honest isn’t adding any value in your life.
A lady’s life should just go on just as your life even at the point of dating. She should keep her former friends and continue building new ones.
One of my girl friends recommended a very good book to me on the commencement of this week – the monk who sold his ferari. In the book they say true satisfaction isn’t in possessing all the world can provide materially but in having a happy fulfilling life.
Is your dating giving you a happy fulfilling life or are you dating because your friends are dating. There’s never a rush, the right girl/guy is out there waiting for you.
Just like traveling, dating should always be out of passion. It should be a fuel that drives you in your everyday activity.

Who knows..

Flash of a kiss has never crossed my mind.But the warmness and smoothness of her strawberry lips can’t escape my imagination. Good is always kept for last.But who knows?

We’ve only had a heartwarming, partial hug.Happiness better than a mother’s sight of her new born baby filled my heart. I feel a feeling of miss and absence. But who knows?

Her gorgeous eyes,the rhythmic swaying of her hips,the fragrance of her perfume, the adorable curves of her body is correctly drawn on my mind.All I need is being with you everyday. But who knows?

I knew I was going to like her forever.The first time I saw  her was in the library. Not only does she regularly engage in acting, but she’s a powerful motivator with actual evidence that kindness,striving passion and loving is good for …..(we shared a remarkable personal story which I call Coanne miracle)

Coffee, movie,pictures,swimming, skating, evening walks,touring,

Life begins after a hangout

Floral 

Curly hair they were 

My concious still deep sea water.

In the rose floral garden 

Beautiful white doves flying over us.
Was it a premonition. 

Wild fancy moves yesternight 

Breathtaking match towards my table 

That’s love’s to answer. 
Thought rose will never flourish 

Suppleness of its petals 

It’s brightness attracts the eye.

One of the million anthers will conquer.
We wake up on a beautiful sunrise 

Your head on my shoulder 

Glaring rays falling on our face 

That’s the broadest smile ever. 

Feelings beyond rose’s quest for water